You know you're a Missionary when...

... you hoard things.  Some things can not be bought in country and you have to either bring them from the states or have someone bring them to you. "Pam" cooking spray is something that comes and goes from the shelves of our local grocery store.  We haven't been able to buy it now, since the first of the year.  Then, miracle of miracles it magically appeared at the grocery store.  When it did,  I didn't just buy one, although quite frankly one would have lasted us for at least 2-5 years.  Oh no, I bought three!!!  Because, who knows, it may disappear again.  And I learned from the first time that of all the products that has disappeared, this is one that is hard to get, because you can not bring something aerosol in your luggage.  

I was joking with a friend of mine, that unfortunately, being a missionary has taught me to be a great hoarder.  Note I didn't say "good",  I said "great".  For example, a couple of years ago, a friend from Quito called me to see if I had a can of green chilies she could have.  Notice the verb I used here is "have" not borrow, because she knew as well as I did that she can not replace this item because they can't be bought overseas.  And I'm not proud to admit it, but I lied.  Although at the time I had at least eight, yes eight cans of chilies in my pantry, I said, "No, sorry".  Why oh why did I do it?  Are you interested in the justification that took place after that?  It was going to be months before we had someone coming from the states, I use at least one can a week in a recipe I make and I was already going to run out....I like seeing that nice little stack of cans, it makes me feel secure.  Does it help you to know my friend called me on it, and I did give her one of my cans of chilies, bringing my inventory down to seven?

Have you ever noticed the symptom of the physical is actually a refection of the spiritual?  Really aren't we all just a little adapt at hoarding things in our lives?  During the time of the, shall we call it "the green chili" incident, God was convicting me about some attitudes I was holding on to, that needed to go.  The conversation went something like this..."you know Lord, really I am justified in having this unforgiving spirit, because the person really hurt me."  Or, "seriously Lord my feelings of anger are justified because..."  Because, because, because.  Those things in my spiritual life were like those little cans of green chilis, stacked nice and neat in my heart and I wanted to hoard them or hold on to them.  And God said, "No".

Recently, I heard a speaker make this statement, "You can not hold on to anything with nail pierced hands".  From first John 2:1-2, "My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.  but if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.  He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world."