on the road to emmaus

The phone ringing startled me out of the task I was working on.  My sister said, "Mom's organs are all shutting down, you need to get here as soon as possible, they will try and keep her alive until then."  Like that.  In an instant.  In spanish "rapidito".  My world went off kilter.  The next 36 hours were a whirlwind, a flight was arranged for the next day, however on the flight  from Houston to LAX,  my mom passed from this life to the next, safely in the arms of her Savior.  When I look back, that phone call is what started my journey through grief.  The process is as different and personal for each person going through it.  We tend to draw on what has been demonstrated to us.  For me, that was to move on as quickly as possible, regain an equilibrium if you will with this new reality of me, minus my mom.

Danielle is the one who was the most proactive in her grief.  She discovered several girls in her mod at the university who had suffered loss, she found a book, started a grief share bible study/ support group.  I thought I was getting along just fine, then I took a look at the book she was using and realized, man I really could use some help.  I was having difficulty concentrating, sleeping, my emotions were completely shut down, I had yet to really cry, to grieve.

The book is called "on the road to emmaus" by Myrlene Hamilton Hess.  Luke 24:13-35 is the scripture reference for the journey.  I would encourage anyone going through the process of grief, whether new or old, to dare to take this journey. God is gracious, He sent someone to walk the road with me over the summer months, an intern serving here at El Refugio.  Her mother lost her battle with breast cancer around the first of the year.  So together we embarked on the road to Emmaus.  With each section of the book, chapter, and prompt, God walked with me through this multi-faceted journey.  I learned many lessons along the way to Emmaus, most of those are simply for me.  There is one lesson I would like to share with you though, which has led me to live a more authentic life as a Christ follower.

http-//animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/gray-whale/.jpg

You are probably wondering why there is a picture of a grey whale, actually I am more interested in the barnacles on the whale.  This is what occurred to me as I worked through the many issues that surfaced as a result of my grief.  When a baby whale is born it is nice and "barnacle free", as it grows and swims through the ocean it starts to collect barnacles and from what I have learned is, unless you remove them right away, barnacles prove to be very hard to remove, some say impossible.  

I accepted Christ as my Savior during my teen years and with that received His forgiveness and the issue of my salvation was settled.  Then life happened, wrongs happened whether intended or not, whether perceived or real.  With each insult or injury a "barnacle" attached to my soul and with each passing year and further "issues" those barnacles just grew and grew, weighing me down more than I ever knew.  As I journeyed to Emmaus, the Lord would bring different things to light, through His Holy Spirit and through the scriptures.  Hebrews chapter 4 says this, ..."the word of God is living and active...Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give an account." vs. 12-13.   I had a choice to either deal with them or ignore them.  From personal testimony I can tell you that as I allowed the Lord to remove these barnacles off my soul I felt lighter and lighter.  

How has this enabled me to live a more authentic life?  Without the weight of those matters on my soul and I find I am able to experience a new fresh relationship with my Savior.  As the baby whale glides through the ocean simply enjoying the water and the many things to discover in the ocean, I read my Bible with joy unhindered, waiting expectantly for the things God would care to reveal to me through His written word.  

Written to commemorate the first anniversary of my mom's journey safely to the arms of Jesus
Kay Hitchcock Scherer
September 8, 1933 - October 26, 2010