"...if you had been here..."

     My friend who has an autoimmune disease said to me, “You don’t understand, I would do anything to be healed.  If it meant touching my toes three times or some other prescribed thing, I would do it in the hope, that would be the thing which would bring healing.”  His statement sent me on a journey to settle within myself the issue of answered or unanswered prayer.  I had noticed in my prayer journal I had as many people I pray for with some form of autoimmune disease as I did for those with cancer.  I was convicted however about how I prayed for each.  For those with cancer, my prayers were much more faith based, with the idea of healing a complete possibility.  For those with autoimmune however, my prayers consisted of phrases like, “help them managed their symptoms” or “may they be encouraged today to persevere”.  Interesting.  Why the difference?  Two passages of scripture have helped shed some light for me and while the issue is still a work in progress in my life, I would like to share with you what I have learned.   I believe all of us at some point have wanted to say to Jesus as Martha and Mary did “Lord, if you had been here…” John 11:21,32 and with a subject so complicated there are always questions to be answered.  For me personally, I believe unanswered prayer develops our faith, the process proves our faith genuine and ultimately display’s not only God’s glory but His presence in our lives.

          Martha’s theology of faith is demonstrated so clearly to me in John 11:22.  When Jesus arrives notice what she says, if you’ll pardon my paraphrase, “Jesus you do your thing, because I know God will do what you say”.  Then a dialogue ensues between the two where I think Jesus is probing what Martha really believes which culminates in her incredible statement of faith “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.” John 11:27

     As Martha demonstrated her faith, the same is true of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in Daniel 3:16-18 where the King wants to throw those three into the burning furnace for not bowing to the gods he had set up.  They say, “… the God we serve is able to save us from it (the furnace)…but even if he does not, we want you to know, we will not serve your gods…” I wonder if this is the place God desires for us all to arrive at, complete faith in the outcome He has planned.  Answered prayer or unanswered prayer, will we trust in His plan and profess absolute belief that He is God.

     “Who is your Lazarus?”  We all have a Lazarus, someone with cancer, autoimmune or maybe it is you.  Martha and Mary sent word to Jesus saying, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”  Jesus response is very telling; “This sickness…is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it”.  (John 11:4)  Interesting to note that after the sisters sent their request the situation actually got worse, Lazarus died.  When we observe Jesus’ attitude toward the situation we see two things, awareness from John 11:14-15 and he was deeply moved vs. 33-35.  God is never surprised or caught off guard as to our circumstances.  The reality is He knows and it grieves Him deeply. 

     As the dialogue between Jesus and Martha continues, Jesus says, “Take away the stone”.  Martha responds with a bit of resistance, reminding Jesus of the bad odor, after all, Lazarus has been dead four days.  Jesus reminds her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” (John 11:40)  The result is Lazarus is brought back from the dead, so the people around them could believe that God had indeed sent Jesus.  

     So the question for us is, “What is our stone?”  Although Martha had demonstrated great faith previously in the passage, there was still some resistance.  What thing is God trying to remove from our lives in order to come to a deeper level of faith?  However, we have to be careful here, because this is not a cause and effect type of thing.  For example, If I find the stone in my life and once it is removed God will heal me or my loved one will be healed.  This is just clearly meant to cause some true introspection about my life and my walk of faith. 

     As I have processed through this subject of unanswered prayer, I was really hoping without realizing it to find that formula for my friend and for those who have life threatening illnesses.  Some will say, you just need more faith, more works, more something.  The conclusion I have come to is this, it is not about the outcome, it is about the day-to-day journey God has each of us on.  Easy to say for a person who at the time has neither of these illnesses, who isn’t desperately crying out to God who seemingly doesn’t hear or care. 

     What if we were to change our lenses though and search for God, could we see Him strengthening our faith?  If we searched could we not testify to the glory of God displayed in our lives and evidence of His ever-abiding presence in situations, which are at times unbearable? 

     The answer to Martha and Mary’s statement, “Lord if only you had been here…” is, Jesus was, He is and He will continue to be.  His presence is an assurance of our faith.    

"...this far..."

When our eyes are focused on the Volcano in the distance, we tend to miss all the details in between.
Photo by Daniel Klassen

“Then King David went in and sat before the Lord and he said, "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?” 2 Samuel 7:18

     Let me set the scene.  God has just told David that his house and his kingdom will last forever.  Huge news.  I love David’s response; he goes in and sits before the Lord.  Then, what follows is a time of reflection. And if you will allow me to paraphrase what David said: “Why would you do that God?  I am nobody and yet you have promised me this huge blessing.  And not only for me but for my family, why?”  In verse 28 of 2 Samuel Chapter 7, David draws this conclusion. “O Sovereign LORD, you are God!  Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.”

     What if we took this model in Scripture and followed David’s example?  As followers of Christ, we each have been given a blessing which is life changing.  Have we taken time to reflect on all that God has done for us?  Have we taken time to remember all God has done in our individual lives and where He has brought us this far? 

     There are various ways this can be accomplished.  For example you could take your age and divide by four and evaluate each of those chunks of time.  Or you could take each decade, season, whatever is easiest for you to process.  Then spend some time before the Lord, remembering all that God had done in your life during that season. 

     I decided to follow David’s example.  At 51, when I divided my life into four blocks that gave me from birth to 13 years of age, 13 to 26, 26 to 39 and finally 39 to the my present age.  Then I went in and sat before the Lord and prayed for the Holy Spirit to reveal to me and help me to see or remember God’s presence in my life during that particular season.  I cannot express to you how valuable this was and encouraging.  This process took time, you have to be willing to pause your life and be still before the Lord.  At first I thought there would not be anything significant during my earliest years.  I had completely forgotten that at ten years of age my Dad was in a farming accident and, had the tow strap taken a different trajectory, my life would have ended then.  I wrote down in my journal evidence of God’s presence and protection during that episode.  Then I continued on through each stage doing the same. 

     The reason I believe this is an invaluable practice is we need to be reminded of how and when God was working in our lives.  Our human nature is to forget or become so consumed by the present things going on in our lives we simply don’t see or feel God’s presence.  The encouraging part is this: as reasoning people we can say, “In the past if God was present and faithful in my life, we can hold fast to the promise that it will continue into our future.”  

    When I finished the process I came to exactly the same conclusion that David did.  “Oh Sovereign LORD, you are God!”  Because you were present with me in the past, I can be assured you will be present with me in my future. 

"...we had hoped..."

     The prompt for my grief journal was this, “Finish the phrase “But we had hoped…” What dreams have been lost because your loved one is gone? (Hamilton Hess page 10)  I have learned a couple of things about grief as a result of mulling over this question.  The first is, grief is very different for each person, multi faceted if you will and always complicated.  The second is that grief is not just about the death of a loved one.  Maybe it’s the loss of a dream, job, friendship or something, which has caused your heart to break. 

     Our response however is important to Jesus.  Right before the disciples made this statement, “But we had hoped” Jesus had asked them, “What things?” Luke 24:19 I believe part of the process of our grief, disappointment or failure is to just lay it all out there before the Lord.  Let’s face it, He already knows, but I think there is value in expressing the details to Him.  Interesting that the disciples were walking away from Jerusalem.  Don’t you think this is typical of human nature, to walk away, for me it is to build nice walls of protection.  And yet, on the road to Emmaus Jesus met them there, everyone else is in Jerusalem and Jesus went out to find those two. 

Flowers from my Mom's memorial service laid over her ashes at sea

     Then, “buckle up” because my experience has been once I have finally laid it all down before Him that is when the real teaching begins.  This is exactly what happened for the disciples once they told Him what they had hoped Jesus was going to be and do for Israel.  “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.” Luke 24:27 Can you even imagine that Bible lesson and wouldn’t you have loved to have been there to hear and take notes?

     Finally we come to my very favorite part of this passage, the great unveiling.  “Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him.” Luke 24:31 This is exactly what I have experienced, once I surrendered my hopes and dreams and allowed the scriptures to teach me, then I became fully aware of the Lord’s presence in my life.  And not just in that moment, but all through the process.  For each of us that will look different, for me it is through the scriptures, times of worship and through other believers He sends my way for love and encouragement.  We need only look for His presence in our lives through the lens of eyes, which are opened.

Three Phrases

     Although El Refugio is currently in its busiest season and I should probably be sharing about the day-to-day activities of the groups we are hosting.  I find myself wanting to share with you what God has been teaching me.  You may wonder why now?  A couple of reasons, first, really it has taken me this long to articulate what it is I wanted to share and second, I am afraid if I don’t get it written down, I will continue to lose sleep because I keep waking up with how best to express exactly the lessons I have learned.

     As with my grief journey, the next three posts will fall under a separate blog entry, which I will title “God’s Presence”.  And to be completely honest, as with my grief journey, I really write this down for my kids and grandkids to hear about what God is teaching me.  However, it is not just for them, it is for you as well.  My desire is for each of you to be encouraged in your walk with our Savior and draw closer to Him.

     This post will serve as an introduction for the three that will follow.  Over the last two years, there have been three phrases from God’s word that have served as a catalyst for lessons I believe God has wanted to teach me.  After a time of reflection I came to realize that all three were connected and the common denominator was the presence of God.  My desire is to demonstrate the presence of God in each of our lives by using these three phrases, “…we had hoped…” from Luke 24:21, "Who am I?...that you have brought me this far?” from 2 Samuel 7:18 and finally from John 11:21 "Lord, if you had been here…”

     Let’s begin the journey…