"The Lord is my Shepherd"

Recently, the Lord has been teaching me a very important lesson and has actually given me a "visual" to help me remember the lesson.

Frequently I find myself awake from about 2:30am - 4 or 5 am.  During this time my thoughts tend to spiral out of control.  One particular night I was very worried and preoccupied with all the concerns of my life and those of my family.  I was thinking about all the "what ifs...."  As time marched on, I was reminded of the passage in John 10:1-18 where Jesus talks about how he is the Good Shepherd.  Something triggered my memory about a sermon on this passage, where the Pastor talked about when Shepherds would guard their flocks at night they would find a place for the sheep to rest which was protected and then the Shepherd themselves would lay across the opening and act as the gate, protecting the sheep from predators.

That was the "visual" I believe the Lord gave to me, that He desires to be my Shepherd and as long as I am in the pen He is able to protect me, but whenever I jump out of the pen I open myself up to harm.

So now when I have my two hour "sessions" in the middle of the night this is what my thought process looks like.  When I am "in" the pen, I am praying, quoting scripture, singing hymns or praise songs.  However, just as quick my thoughts will spiral straight to worry, the oughta, gotta, shoulda's of life and I will realize I have jumped "out" of the pen.  So back and forth I go in and out of the pen. God, in His generosity has given me the choice to be either place, but He desires for me to be in the pen where only He can protect me and care for me.  This is a process as I learn to spend more time "in" the pen rather than "out".

"The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep."  John 10:2

Psalm 132 ~Paraphrased by Mary Scholl

Psalm 132 ~ Paraphrased by Mary Scholl

Savior, you have an account

of all the hardships in my life.

When I first called you Redeemer

my journey was committed to you.

Some days the way is clear and on others, 

I search for you.

On the days of uncertainty,

there is no rest for my soul.

I pursue you Lord in my

every waking breath.

Then, through the scriptures

you speak to me.

Your Spirit comforts my heart

through your word.

You draw me to a new place,

teaching me with wisdom.

Thank you Savior, for my

imparted righteousness.

With confidence I draw near

to your throne of grace.

"The Good, The Bad and the Ugly"

Photo taken after Easter Sunrise

The road was wet from the heavy rainfall.  I was probably driving faster than I should have been, but I had just delivered our beloved family dog of 14 years to the vet to be put down due to cancer which had ravaged her body.  All I remember is one moment I was driving along and then the next the truck was being lifted up and then started spinning, and spinning, and spinning.  I put my arms up over my head and braced for the impact sure to come.  An orange tree is what finally brought the truck to a stop, I later learned the truck had literally severed the tree from its trunk.  The thing I remember the most was the thundering silence that followed after the crash.  I sat there.  Was I dead?  No.  Anything broken?  No.  Blood?  No.  And then as fast as I could I opened the door and ran to get away from the truck, after all as an 18 year old girl, for all I knew the truck could blow up at any minute. Isn't that what always happens in the movies?  

I describe this experience of mine, to help you understand how Howard and I are feeling upon our return to California.  Literally, our lives have been picked up and feel as if we have been spinning with all the changes that have occurred.  We had a moment last week, where we had arrived to an appointment early, Howard shut off the car and we sat there for a while and let the quiet fall over us.  After a few minutes, we started talking and assessing about how our transition was going.  "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"  I'll spare you most of the details but suffice it to say it has not looked anything like we thought it would. We also hadn't quite realized how well we had learned in Ecuador the lesson of adaptation.  If Plan A doesn't work out, fine let's go with Plan B  and sometimes we get all the way to Plan Z!  "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" moments, they have been balanced with the sweet realization we know we are exactly where God wants us to be, but most of all we see His perfect timing in all our lives.  

Mary's Dad 

Planting flowers with the kids and grandkids

Easter Sunrise Service on the Kimbler Ranch
(Nicole's husband's family)

Boot Camp Graduation

Nicole and Bridget were able to celebrate Jonathan's Graduation with us at the Great Lakes Naval Base.

Proud Parents!

"The Sisters"

Jonathan's Division #130.  A total number of 10 divisions graduated with 853 graduating.

So Happy!!!

...and Cold!!!

We celebrated at Jonathan's favorite resturant

One Fine Day in Mindo

A tradition that we have at El Refugio is that when people head for home they get one last wish. Over the years this has taken the form of one intern zip lining in the dark and another seeing how long he could ride a bull.   Howard's and mine was to take our whole staff to Mindo, (the cloud forrest) for the day.  On the Friday that Danielle was visiting, we all piled in a rented van and off we went.  We truly had such a great time, with everyone game to try anything.  At one point, I think the absurdity of Howie driving the van with me in front and a van full of Ecuadorians hit us, (normally it is the reverse).  Such a fun, fun day.  Howard, Danielle and I were talking, hands down it was probably one of the best days we spent in Ecuador.   Here are just a few photos from that wonderful day....

Everyone in the van heading to Mindo for the day.

First stop, the cable car ride with the ladies first...

...then the men.

Exploring the different waterfalls...

Howie, Holger, Aurelio, Pedro and Enrique

Danielita, Nathaly and Diana

Group shot by the waterfall...

...and on the bridge :)

Aurelio and a new style of earrings

We made photo books of the last seven years and gave them to everyone at lunch.

Danielita gave the girls their own bibles with their names on them.

Pedro taming a butterfly.

Visiting the chocolate factory (who knew they had one in Mindo!)

Sampling all kinds of good chocolate and also some not so good :)

The whole group at the butterfly farm.
Holger, Enrique, Diana, Pedro, Nathaly, Anita, Howie, Danielita, Piedad, Aurelio, Angelica and myself.